For our Fathers
by Spaleween
Summary: War brought them together, peace kept them apart. Athrun and Cagalli are diving into a different battle once the war is over. Fighting to keep peace seems to be easier than fighting to keep a relationship. Chapter 2 is up.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Set after Gundam Seed Destiny.

**Chapter 1. Two weeks after peace**

Even at 0500, Athrun Zala was tired. He had just finished reading the status reports and defense and arms inventory of every colony in PLANT. He was only eighteen and yet he felt like he was forty years old. Eighteen and he was already part of the Supreme Council, in charge of security along with Yzak Jules. PLANT was still in limbo whether to have another Chairman or not, since the two persons who previously held the position weren't very ideal, he thought somberly. The Council was supposed to decide as a majority, which meant that the PLANT delegate to the negotiations consist almost half of the ruling body. Athrun had wished his office was in his home instead of being an hour away, but Meyrin Hawke would have none of that. She wanted the house to be a sanctuary of comfort, a place where Athrun could relax.

And yet the laptop in his bedroom seemed forever turned on. As he loosened the collar of his dark blue uniform and sat in the office-like chair—he had made sure it was ergonomically designed that way—Athrun wondered when it would finally give up on him.

On cue, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and egg toast wafted into his nostrils. There was a knock on the door before it opened and revealed a girl with pigtailed red hair.

"Breakfast!" Meyrin said with a cheery smile, propping it next to Athrun's laptop.

He smiled back, a bit ruefully, "Thank you, for the breakfast and the reports. It was very organized."

She beamed, "Oh, you're welcome. It isn't so hard once you already know what the terms mean. What time should I say you're available for work again?"

"Two hours should be fine."

"Alright, I'll tell them you'll be available at 0900," Meyrin said as she left for the door.

"Meyrin, that isn't—"

"Even robots need their cooldown and maintenance periods you know," she said right before she closed the door, "Get some rest, Athrun."

He let out a sigh and reached for the toast. Meyrin was a really nice girl…an incredible girl actually. Not only was she an excellent hacker, a talent that she still occasionally used these days, she had also become his secretary and housekeeper. How she found the time to be doing all of those, he had no idea, but he was very grateful. She had saved his life before and she was still taking care of him now. He had told her once that she shouldn't be indebted to him; she didn't have to stay with him if she didn't want to. But Meyrin insisted on it, she had promised to take care of Athrun.

His laptop beeped. He quickly chomped on his toast and clicked on the incoming e-mail. He had around forty unread messages, a mail from Yzak's secretary about the state of the troops, another mail from an ambassador regarding the arms reduction, an e-mail from Meyrin reminding him about the next round of negotiations and his appointment with the tailor, three invitations to parties, another invitation to speak at a military forum, a request to intervene at an intra-colony disagreement… it was endless. Sure he had an office account, Meyrin took care of that one. But there were a lot of people who also knew his personal account.

The newest one, though, made him smile a bit. It was an e-mail from Cagalli Yula Atha, a reply of the message he had send twenty-four hours ago. Transmission from PLANT to Earth and vice-versa was ridiculously slow. It was a new model, built specifically for communications in between the negotiations. Voice communications was technologically impossible at the moment. Video transmission was hardly inconceivable. If he had the time, Athrun would've probably tinkered with the problem and bring about a solution—made even easier with Kira Yamato's's help. So they were on textual communication, which wasn't even in real time. Right now, it was a luxury—an access limited only to the heads of government. For a moment, he thought it was a bit lucky that both he and Cagalli were both government, but it tasted bittersweet. If the others knew that he was using the line for personal communication, they would've been furious but he could always reason that he was checking on the state of the Orb Union. How convenient.

It took ten hours or so for Athrun to receive her e-mail, and he knew it was probably the same at her end. He would send her a message, which she would probably receive and check the next day. Athrun would likely receive her reply the day after that. It started since the day he left, yet again, for PLANT when the war was over. He could not complain, it was the only way they could communicate.

He read the e-mail absorbing every word. Lacus Clyne was still sick and still comatose, he noted. It had been two weeks and there was no improvement on her condition. Cagalli said that at least she wasn't dead, but Kira was still very worried. They still could not find any cause for the illness. Given Lacus' position in the negotiation, it was likely that someone purposely made her sick or something. But they could not prove that yet.

Kira send his regards, Cagalli said. He said that Athrun should propose the destruction of all superweapons, including the remaining Gundams. It was better that way. Cagalli said she wanted that too, she really did, but she knew that it would be difficult. She really did want the complete and utter obliterations of such things; it was the only way to sustain peace.

Athrun said to his laptop monitor, "That's impossible, you should know that already."

Cagalli continued to tell Athrun in her e-mail about her duties. Shinn Asuka wasn't the only angry person in Orb who felt their government ruined their lives during the two wars. Cagalli admitted she wasn't very good at soothing people like Lacus. Cagalli had wanted to yell at them, saying she had lost a lot of things in the war too. It was hard for her, she admitted, it hurt. It hurt to admit to her people that she knew what they felt, and they would stare at her with disbelieving and angry eyes. But she had to bear it, Cagalli continued, she was Head Representative of Orb. She would be strong.

In the next paragraph, Cagalli then told Athrun not to be so doubtful of Yuel Seiran, the Orb representative and temporary mediator in the negotiations. She told Athrun he was completely different from Yuna, and that Athrun should know by now that distrust was what brought people to fight with each other.

Athrun scoffed at that.

The last paragraph was about Cagalli wishing Athrun well. He read the last paragraph…one sentence actually, over and over, trying to glean more out of it. He knew it was ridiculous to overthink about it, and yet he could not help it.

Finally, he clicked the "reply" button and composed his reply. When he was done, it was 0600. He closed his laptop and dropped to the bed without even changing his clothes.

He dreamed of seeing Lacus' pink haro at his feet, the very first one he had made for his ex-fiancée. It kept bouncing at his feet, chirping random words. Several more bounced towards him, all the other haros he had made for the pink princess. All their combined chirping sounded like pink noise in his ears before Athrun realized that there were far too many haros around him that he could hardly see the ground. They kept bouncing and bouncing towards him. Athrun tried to escape, but his feet were firmly buried in a rising sea of multi-colored haros, all chirping random words at him. He heard someone call his name. Athrun turned around and saw Cagalli staring at him. Athrun stretched out his hand to her and called her name. The haros heard him speak and copied him, cheerfully saying Cagalli's name. But Cagalli remained standing there, seemingly standing on thin air a few feet higher than the sea of haros. Why was she just standing there, looking at him? He stretched his hand even further, trying to reach her, but the haros were now up to his waist, "Cagalli!"

He tried his hardest to wade towards her, but one of the bouncing haros—a reddish pink one—hit him squarely on the chin and he fell back. They were covering his chest and neck now, their voices resonating in his ears, repeatedly saying Cagalli's name. Athrun tried to wave them away, but the number of haros simply increased. His eyes darted back to the girl staring at him, "Cagalli!" he said, stretching his hand towards her again, "Help me!" All of the haros repeated after him, saying "Help me!" He continued to stare at her eyes, understanding nothing, until the sea of haros buried his arms and blocked his vision, and all he could hear were a hundred cheerful voices asking for help.

Athrun immediately opened his eyes. He was back in his room. He shut off the noisy haro alarm clock beside him, which said it was already 0900. It was time to go to work again.

oooooooooooo

Yuel Seiran's similar appearance with his cousin, Yuna, was ridiculously uncanny. And yet Cagalli thought they couldn't be anymore different. For one thing, everyone liked Yuel. Orb had doubted him naturally, he had the Seiran name. He wasn't very much known during the two wars, but he had served as Orb's deputy ambassador before. How he was able to solve that terrorism crisis in the Orb's west coast that happened a few months after the Second Battle of Jachin Due, Cagalli didn't know. But the important thing to the representatives was that Yuel could deliver results.

He was grandiose, at least he had that similarity with Yuna, but he a very eloquent speaker—much to Cagalli's chagrin. She could raise a resistance and she could heighten the morale of her soldiers before a battle, but in the midst of a battle, she could do nothing—as it was cruelly proven to her with the sacrifices of the Masamune squadron and Captain Todaka. But Yuel…Yuel was respected by the Orb troops. It was unusual for the army to like a pure-bred politician, Kisaka had said, but it was different from Yuel. Kisaka said he respected the troops. Yuel Seiran listened to their opinions and in turn, they listened to his. How easy it was for him to make them do what he wanted, and yet it took Cagalli years to do the same thing herself.

So no one really objected when he was chosen as Orb's representative and temporary mediator in the PLANT-EA negotiations.

"These are your plans for the first round of negotiations?" Cagalli raised her eyes at the sheets of paper before her.

"Of course we all want the terms of peace quickly done and dealt with," Yuel said as he sat at one of the comfy chairs in her receiving room, "But we don't want them all grouchy at the negotiation table, don't we? They must be in a good mood or they will be stubborn like the old men that they are."

"Not all of them are that old," she resigned, "But two parties? Do you have any idea how little our budget is right now?"

"Commencement and culmination, Cagalli. We must make sure to seal the deal. I'm sure the Lady Lacus would agree. How is she anyway?"

"Kira said it's still the same. Investigation is on-going," Cagalli said before sighing loudly, "I don't get it. She's completely healthy. It's unnatural that she suddenly collapses like that."

Yuel picked up his drink, "So someone doesn't want her to be mediator between the three factions."

"Who exactly doesn't want to have Lacus as mediator? She's known to pursue peace. Why would they not want to do that?"

"Cagalli dear," Yuel said before he paused to return his drink, "Remember Junius-7. And not all people think war is a bad thing."

"Well, it's your job to make sure that doesn't happen again!" Cagalli shot back.

"You give a tall order, Cagalli. Arms reduction right after a war is very difficult you know, let alone two wars."

Cagalli's secretary entered the room. "At the very least, make them give up their superweapons. Don't tell me you can't do that," Cagalli said as she stood up.

Yuel stood along with her, "Give me a week, Representative Atha. I'll certainly do my best." He smiled with a little bow before leaving.

In a way, they were the same. He was only two years older than her and yet they ruled the country. It did not fail to escape her that her future could have been different if Cagalli had met Yuel first, instead of Yuna Roma Seiran.

But there was no use wishing for a different future now. The wars happened. Her father died. A lot of people died. And she was still Head Representative when the peace treaty was signed two weeks ago. She should be really happy. They were on their way to restoration…for real, this time. But now there was the situation with Lacus. It was terrible to collapse a few days after the treaty was signed with her as a witness. Both PLANT and the Earth Alliance, even citizens of Orb, threw their complaints at her. Orb security was shot as hell. She had been scared; war was threatening to erupt again.

Cagalli's secretary snapped her out of her reverie. The daily representatives meeting would start soon. Glancing at her paper, she decided the first agenda would be on the seven-day long security for the negotiations next week. That would be followed by updates on Lacus' investigations, then the updates on restoration followed by the revenue-raising projects. Those would have to be raised within Orb since international trade was difficult at the moment. As for the negotiation security… there would absolutely be no mobile suits. She had to become an example herself, right?

With that in mind, she squared her shoulders for a long and grueling session, and walked towards the conference room. Her secretary had closed the door after her when the computer in the room beeped, announcing an incoming e-mail.

The representatives meeting quickly centered on the theme of the negotiations. Half of them wanted both PLANT and EA factions to destroy their superweapons and Cagalli was inclined to agree.

Representative Hayate interrupted, "I thought Orb was a mediator here. Why are we laying down conditions?"

Another representative, Kotoki, piped in, "Both parties agreed to peace. There can be no peace, no rest, until there is an assurance that these terrible weapons will not be used. The only way to guarantee that is the weapons' destruction."

"They must be the ones to come up with that, not us," Hayate said.

"We will insist that it is a gesture of peace. Not only must they destroy these weapons, they must also destroy the manufacturing industries of such objects."

"They will ask us to do the same."

"Negotiations regarding our defense and weapons inventory will be done once the PLANT and Earth Alliance discussions are through," Kotoki said.

"Hold on," Cagalli said, "we should destroy our high-grade weapons too. Shouldn't we be a model for both PLANT and the Earth Alliance?"

"Representative Atha," Kotoki said, "we cannot have a weak display of military strength. They have doubted our ability to defend our borders and secure our civilians against harm before. We must prove them wrong."

"But…" Cagalli faltered.

Kotoki added, "How can they trust that their negotiations will be sealed and true if they cannot trust the security around them? Our neutrality has attracted them to recognize us as worthy hosts for such sensitive issues. We must not fail both of them."

"Don't worry," Yuel said to the representatives, "It will be the idea of both parties to reduce their superweapons."

It was already late at night when the meeting suspended its session. Cagalli was already dragging herself to the office bedroom, fantasizing about the cool sheets and the soft pillows when something bothered her. She rushed back to her office and saw she had two unread messages…both from Athrun.

The first one told her about his day…the difficulties of intervening with parties…fanatics of the first war and those of the second one. It was difficult, he said. Not many in the council trusted him. Even though he helped end both wars, the council could not overlook his repeated defections from one faction to another.

Cagalli snorted, "The only loyalty you ever had was to ZAFT and to PLANT."

It took time, he said, for people's wounds to heal. They cannot forget the horrors of war easily. The only thing Cagalli could do for them to ease their pain is to slowly make them understand what she had told him before…revenge begets revenge. Only if we forgive can we start to heal.

He said he was also concerned about Lacus and offered to bring a doctor with him when they arrive in Orb for the negotiations. And yet he told Cagalli she was being ridiculously naïve if she thought those superweapons and those Gundams would be truly destroyed.

Cagalli was annoyed. He knew firsthand what sort of destruction those things brought, and he was still defending to retain them?

Athrun ended his letter like Cagalli did hers. He wished her well. He hoped to see her in a week.

That really upset Cagalli. How dare he become so self-righteous like that? She was about to tell him how utterly stupid his words were when she remembered he had a second letter:

_I realized just now that I made Birdy for Kira and those haros for Lacus, and yet I made nothing for you. What would you like?_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Methinks I like Mad Men too much.

**Chapter 2. **

Cagalli could not bring herself to answer Athrun's e-mail. She was angry at him for his stupid reasons, reasons that had drove them apart in both wars. In both times, he was proved wrong and yet he kept going back to them!

She didn't know what sort of mechanical toy she wanted from Athrun either.

Cagalli's head began to hurt, the difficult day had taken its toll. Athrun was being incredibly difficult. How a war hero known for his constant defections be so stubborn with his principles, she didn't know. Right now, it was hard for Cagalli to figure out exactly what Athrun Zala's principles were.

She went to her bedroom, flopped on the bed and took out the silver ring with the set ruby. Cagalli put it on her ring finger and held it up. She had believed the romance to be a fairytale…a romance that completely shattered when she learned he had went back to ZAFT. She thought she was being brave and mature when she agreed to take Yuna, it seemed to her very adult-like. After all, she thought it was for the good of her people…aside from there having been no choice. And it had to be Kira who rescued her, it had to be Kira who stole the bride away on her wedding day. Not even a peep from Athrun. Cagalli thought she was so very silly and removed the ring from her finger, ending up sleeping on a pillow that felt slightly moist.

The next day, she paid a visit to the house where Lacus and Kira were staying. Cagalli had offered to let them stay at her official house, which was pretty much a huge and richly-furnished manor, but they had declined. They had always liked the peace at their beachside home. Instead, Cagalli had brought over the best medical equipment Orb could offer and had it installed in one of the beach house's rooms.

Playing with the kids at that house was her only form of relaxation these days. The manor where she lived in couldn't even be slightly relaxing because that was where she occasionally brought her work. She could not calm them like Lacus did with her gorgeous voice, but Cagalli did enjoy running around with them. It was a welcome exercise actually, Cagalli had been a bit worried that she might be getting on the fat side because of all the rich food she was digesting and all the sitting around she was doing.

When she had finished greeting the children, whose number had seemingly increased, she went to visit the room where Lacus was staying. Kira was there, naturally. He smiled at her, with eyes that were obviously tired, "Hey."

"Hey," Cagalli greeted back as she grabbed a chair for herself and twirled it backwards before sitting on it and resting her arms forward on the backrest.

"The investigator said it was definitely poison… one of those substances that were odorless and tasteless. It's rather convenient, it dissolves easily so it's hard to detect," Kira said.

"If it's so easy to dissolve," Cagalli wondered, "how come she's been out for two weeks?"

"Maybe the dose was pretty strong, they're not sure yet. I don't know what's taking the investigators so long."

"Or she's being given repeated doses."

Kira didn't remove his eyes from Lacus' prone body, "That's impossible."

Cagalli stared at Kira. It was still a bit hard to think of him as her brother. It was even harder to think that he was reciprocating something else with Cagalli because of his affections for Lacus, "Are you afraid that this is an assassination attempt like last time?"

Kira smiled ruefully at her, "It's hard to think who would do it this time."

He was really tired, Cagalli noted. His back was stooped, his hair looked floppier than usual and the bags under his eyes were getting more obvious. She wondered who between them had the bigger eyebags, but she quickly shook out the thought, "You should rest, Kira. I'll watch over her for now."

He smiled again, "Thanks, Cagalli," he said as he stood up, touched her shoulder and walked to the door.

"Kira?"

"Hm?"

"Do you remember the time Athrun gave you Birdy? That robot thing?"

Kira stared at the ceiling for a second before shaking his head, "He gave it to me the day he left school back in the Moon. So that we would always remember our friendship, I think," Kira said, then looked at her curiously, "Why do you ask?"

Cagalli ignored the question, "Was it like that with Lacus too? With the haros?"

Kira continued to stare at her, "Athrun made her the pink one first. When she said she liked it, he made her a whole dozen of them."

Cagalli could feel Kira's gaze burning on the back of her neck, but she retained her gaze on Lacus' even breathing, "Oh."

"Did Athrun tell you anything?"

"He said…" Cagalli took a deep breath, "He said he'd bring a doctor to take a look at Lacus."

Kira looked at her for a few more seconds before leaving, "That wouldn't be so bad. I'll see you later then."

Cagalli was silent for a few more minutes, "It's nice to have Kira always there for you, isn't it?" She knew it was a bad thing to think of, especially in Lacus' current condition. But it seemed that the most awful thoughts never failed to slip into her mind.

At that moment, when the sky was dark and all she could hear were the sound of crickets and the crash of waves onto the shore, Cagalli felt how tired she was. She never had a real break starting from her stint in the resistance in the desert up to being the current Head Representative of Orb. Even when there was that two-year peace after Jachin Due, there was still so much to be done. Cagalli knew she couldn't stop. She didn't want to fail her people, and most of all, she didn't want to fail her own father. He had sacrificed so much…and yet…

Hadn't they done enough? She helped end the two wars, hadn't she done enough? Why couldn't she rest like Kira? Why couldn't she have a peaceful life somewhere, a place where people would not blame her for the things they couldn't even really and truly understand? She was too young for this!

I'm too young to have two broken engagements too, Cagalli thought wryly. It hurt. It constantly clawed at a hole in her heart every night. He was utterly dense and insensitive sometimes, and she knew she couldn't take care of him. She had her own people to take care of, and he couldn't leave his own people alone. His loyalty was to PLANT, and he wanted to redeem his father as much as she wanted to protect hers.

She had felt it was mature to realize that nothing would come out of a relationship like that. Cagalli also knew that Lacus' look-alike and all those other redheads had taken an interest on Athrun. She had to let him go. She had to make sure he would realize his dream. They had to make sure both PLANT and Earth waged no more war against each other.

Her head told her it was the right thing to do. It was what her father would have told her. It was what a responsible adult would have done. But it didn't make the pain go away. Somewhere, she was thinking, _Nothing and no one else should have you except me._

Ooooooooo

It was almost time time for Athrun to leave for work again but all he could do was refresh his laptop every five seconds. There was nothing. Nothing since he had mailed her the last time. Athrun had checked with the technicians, there was nothing wrong with the connection.

Meyrin knocked on the door and announced that it was time for him to leave.

He refreshed his computer one last time before standing up and finishing the rest of his now-cold coffee. Maybe she was too busy…Orb was getting ready to receive the heads of each faction, after all. It was either that or she got angry…

No, she would've typed an angry e-mail to him already, if that was the case, complete with every curse she could think of.

She was just probably busy. Athrun would see her again in a few days' time anyway.

It was at the Supreme Council headquarters where Athrun received plenty of angry letters. He was halfway reading one letter when he could hear Meyrin talking to someone before his door was slammed open and a dark-skinned middle aged old man barged in. He slammed his hands on Athrun's desk and said, "Orb is making a ridiculous condition, Zala!"

"So it seems," Athrun said while trying to read the rest of the letter.

The man continued his tirade, "Does Orb think we're stupid? Do they think we will standby and become defenseless, while we meet with the Earth Alliance?"

"We're not exactly defenseless, Lord Elsman," Athrun said, "They allowed us to bring our planes and carriers."

Dearka Elsman's father couldn't be any different from his laid-back son, "They're not allowing us to bring our mobile suits!"

"Orb is a neutral nation, I'm sure they're making the Earth Alliance do the same."

"Don't be preposterous, they have allied with the Earth Alliance before!"

"They weren't allied with the EA by the last phases of the war."

"We cannot be too sure, Zala," he said, "While Lacus Clyne is incapacitated, you know we cannot be too sure of what Orb's real aim is."

It was another reason why Cagalli's e-mails were so important and why Athrun was so frustrated right now. He could defend Orb's actions after the peace thanks to his communication with her, but right now, he had nothing, "We signed the treaty with EA. They won't do something rash as to attack us."

"They poisoned the mediator! Isn't that enough? Aren't you even angry about what happened to your former fiancée—"

"We're not even sure if the Earth Alliance is the culprit, Lord Elsman," Athrun cut in, "Orb will make sure nothing will happen during the negotiations."

"Oh? And how sure are you with that?"

Athrun took two seconds to answer, "Yes, I'm sure."

"You should know of all people that we cannot be too careful," Elsman said, straightening up, "You and Jules junior better make sure we come prepared."

As he left, another guy popped his head into Athrun's office, "I haven't seen Lord Elsman that irate in a while."

Athrun leaned back in his chair, "You can't blame him. It's his job."

"Everyone's still tense," the man said as he flopped into one of Athrun's more comfortable chairs.

Athrun glanced at the man, partly distracted by his bright orange hair, "Everyone except you, which is weird."

The man shrugged, "My job really happens next week, and the council meeting doesn't happen in another…" he checked his watch, "eighteen hours. What the hell, does the great Athrun Zala ever sleep?"

"There's nothing to do at home."

"Yeah, that's what most soldiers say these days. Funny, huh? They fight to have peace and when they do get it, they complain they've got nothing to do," the man said as he rocked the chair to and fro.

"That's why I'm here."

"So that you won't get any bad ideas?"

"I thought it was Yzak's job to make sure that didn't happen."

The man stopped rocking the chair and stared at Athrun, "So you knew?"

"I'm not an idiot, Diethel," Athrun said, trying to read the reports at his table, "Yzak is my co-security advisor in the Supreme Council because they don't want another Patrick Zala or a Gilbert Dullindal."

"Part of it I think," Diethel Franck admitted, "But what do you expect when you said you wanted to be part of the Council? They couldn't refuse you. The Coordinators worship their war hero."

"Now it takes longer to decide things because we chose not to have a chairman."

Diethel looked at him, saying nothing. Athrun ignored his stare.

The door slammed open again, with Elsman barging in again, "You are to follow the security measures we agreed before this Orb proposal."

Athrun almost stood up as Elsman started to walk away, "But that's—"

"What side are you on anyway?" Elsman shouted back at Athrun…who couldn't answer back.

Diethel's eyes followed Elsman out of the room, then raised an eyebrow at Athrun.

"Damn," Athrun said under his breath.

oooooooo

A/N: Please, do review! Tell me what you think so far. :)


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